With the ending of another year we often find ourselves steeped in tradition, grief and maybe even a little bit of booze.
The traditions...special meals, sharing of resolutions or memories of the year before, attending First Nights and other events are ways people ring in the New Year as the Old Year shuffles out. No matter what religion you are we all seem to agree on the calendar. We have managed to come together on this one...yep, December 31st is New Year's Eve and January 1st is New Year's Day.....AGREED!
The grieving. The year passes with some of our resolutions quickly forgotten before the confeitti had even been swept up from the last celebration. I have often never shed the pounds promised with the ball's dropping. I guess you could say another ball dropped there too. I have often thought another year wasted. And for what? A smaller waistline or a smaller dress size? I guess I forgot that I was able to spend time with the kids, with my husband, with family or just doing something for myself. But those calories weren't counted and I set myself up for a perceived failure.
With a New Year we also mourn for more than resolutions quickly forgotten. We mourn the losses that we have faced. Some significant as when a loved one is taken from us whether too quickly or after a long illness. We mourn their loss and feel the sorrow from the hole that it leaves with us. We mourn some things that were never ours. We mourn for the what if's, the could have been's and the never were's. We mourn what we wanted and never got while sometimes taking for granted the blessings we were afforded. It isn't selfish on our part. We are human and creatures of higher thought...but it is the heart that we find more mystical than the mind and that heart is a kicker. It feels things often when our higher logic says it is absurd. We feel it real and we feel it deeply. It is a permitted hurt that we can own. It is ours.
This New Year's I plan not to let the mourning out shine the blessings that I have yet to come. I won't mourn the what if's, the could have been's and the never were's. Instead, I will plan for some more what if's, the could be's and the yet to come's!!! After all, I'm a sucker for the underdog!
Oh, and in case you were wondering. I am having a couple of Cosmos this evening....there is a little bit of booze in my future too!
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